A Brief History of The Axemen - The Early Years.In The Beginning (by Steve McCabe)The Axemen began life as a seething mass of algae in a cess-pool located at the back of a disused factory somewhere in North Dunedin, New Zealand.The exact location of the cess-pool has unfortunately been lost to the ravages of time, but the factory still stands - a disused, vacant shell with little hope of being restored to its former majesty.Following a sudden meteor storm in 1983, the Axemen rapidly evolved, developed fully functional hands and ears (where before there had only been useless stumps) and metamorphosed rapidly into one of the most radical, chaotic and inspired rock bands of all time.The exact details are hazy now as I pen this tome from my Hotel room in Auckland, New Zealand, June 1997, but as I recall...Bob [Brannigan] and myself were happily punting along the River Avon in Christchurch, New Zealand in January, 1983 - I distinctly remember the occasion as Bob was, for once, holding the punt-oar. The day was dreary - grey, overcast and drizzling with a fine mist which settled gently before condensing and trickling off the seven plastic beer flagons placed [for ballast] in the centre of the bright red punt.From which direction the football came I do not directly recall, but come it did - striking Bob squarely on the forehead and causing him to swagger, try and get his balance back, then topple over backwards (I often wonder how much worse it could have been had he been standing at the time). Next thing you know, who should pop around the corner hollering "Can I have my ball back, please?" but Mr Stu Kawowski. I had not encountered this man before, but I can still vividly recall the moment; the cheeky grin, the Joe 90 "milk bottle" glasses (later to be replaced with the trademark John Lennon style spectacles), the wind rustling through the shaggy tresses of his russet-red hair.Mopping the beads of sweat from his furrowed brow, Bob lurched up, hoarsely shrieked "I'll give you your ****ing ball back allright and fair clocked him one with the aforementioned orb. The tense situation now somewhat diffused, Kawowski piped up, "Gizza ride in your punt, mate!". I can't quite recall whether it was Bob or myself who replied "Step aboard, Matey!" but next thing you know, there we were, the three of us, in the bright red punt, cruising at a rate of knots that particular punt had not previously thought itself capable of.There was something about the rhythm of Kawowski's deft strokes wit the punt-oar; something vital and overwhelming about the way he pushed that punt to its very limits. There was an unspoken, unfathomable feeling that this was perfection, this was bliss, this was the way of the future - Brannigan, Kawowski & McCabe - an untouchable, dynamic unit not to be messed with.After formally voicing what we all knew we were feeling, that we should immediately form the most invincible and solid rock combo ever known to man, the pact was sealed with a flagon of beer apiece. The day ended with a solemn blood oath and a resolution that we would have our first rehearsal the very next day, but in order to maximise our potential, to 'potentise the blend', a pilgimage would be required to the famous "Seedy Dive" boondocks area of Dunedin. This area was well-known in the early eighties to have the highest ratio of musicians and artists to the square mile of any region in the country. Of course, the remnants of the thriving mime and clown scene from the seventies still lived in the area, but we had the feeling that in the searing Dunedin summer of '83, the Dive was going to be the place to be. That year, Dunedin had the longest, hottest heatwave in recorded history.